The First

As I was riding the train home from today's gig (playing for a cabaret workshop on the Upper West Side), I realized it: I hadn't had a day to myself in over a month. In the past 30 days, I had played 6 weddings, a Wagner Opera on the UWS, a Suzuki Concert in Brooklyn, a cabaret show (Hot Mess in Manhattan) in the Village, Zach Williams' CD release at Mercury Lounge, a Barnaby Bright show at the Living Room, another cabaret show in Vineland, NJ (this time with Rian Keating) and recorded for Trinity Grace Church's upcoming live album. There were rehearsals for all of the above, lessons taught, church services played (I'm fortunate enough to have a gig playing at Trinity Grace each week) and extra church services played. Add an hour or four of commuting with each project and you've got yourself a full schedule.

In addition, I had two of my favorite people on earth come into town on two separate trips, adding a plethora of other activities. Before each arrival there was apartment cleaning, towel and linen washing and rearranging of aforementioned schedule (when possible). During visits it was planning, commuting and activity-izing: trips to Coney Island and Central Park, violin auctions, psychics, 'Hair' on broadway, dinners, lunches, breakfasts, drinking and long talks. After each departure were a few thoughts of the lonely city before diving breathless back into more busyness.

It seems like in this business it's all or nothing. Often I feel like I'm either too busy to enjoy myself, or I'm sleeping 'til 2:00 everyday wondering when my next job will come around and wondering where my motivation ran off to. It's a tough business and a tougher city, which makes balancing all of life's other demands all the more difficult. This month has been great business-wise, I'm making good money and making great connections. But it's also been more difficult personally, as it's been hard to find time for enjoying life and my husband's been struggling with work (he's a freelance audio engineer). We've even toyed some with the idea of packing it all in and heading back to the easy life where we came from (Kansas City, Missouri). But the city has an interesting way of enticing and pulling you back in. It's an interesting life.